Animal I Have Become
by Aqua279
Summary: One-shot song-fics about Derek. Chlerek.
1. Animal I Have Become

**Song Fics about Derek **

**Author's Note**: There will be one about the rest of the characters, too, just this one was important to me. I had to get it out of my head. It'll be a little long, and the lyrics are here, but just bare with me. Derek + Chloe pairings, as I'm a big supporter. BIG HUGE GIGANTIC THANKS TO SCH, BECAUSE WITHOUT HER THIS WOULDN'T BE UP AT ALL!!!

**Animal I have become… by Izzy (Aqua279)**

_I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal_

_I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

_Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell_

_This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal  
This animal_

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me  
somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal I have become_

**3rd person**

Derek knew better than to wake Simon when he felt his stomach twist, felt the fever coming; he was panting gently. He also knew that waking Chloe would be stupid, selfish, and useless, but he needed someone there. Tori would be the best bet of not getting any one all upset, but…Chloe. He woke her up gently, trying not to pant on her face. Her eyes snapped open and she took a quick assessment of his face. Recognition lit her blue eyes and she quickly sat up.

"I'm coming!" She hissed, not even asking what it was or not. Warmth randomly hit Derek square in the chest, but he ignored it, classifying it as one of those strange occurrences that happened a lot in Chloe's presence.

They walked quickly towards the woods outside the safe house; Derek tried to remind himself that Chloe couldn't keep up with him on those short legs of hers, let alone the fact that she couldn't see in this cloudy night, but it was getting harder and harder to focus as pain raked his body, muscles straining and shifting and twitching and pulling. He shook his head to clear the fog that was gathering up there, and tried focusing once more.

"Derek, here is good. We're pretty f-far." Chloe murmured, a slightly annoyed expression crossing her face when she stuttered. He understood- he was scaring her. It wasn't quite fair, that she should fear him when he hadn't done anything to hurt her- intentionally. He knew he hurt her feelings a lot; that meant a lot more to girls than hurting them physically, he guessed. He hated doing either.

Derek shed his outer clothes and dropped to his hands and knees, almost tensing, knowing that would do no good except make the pain worse. Chloe sat beside him, shivering, but vigilant.

"You're alright." She murmured, just as all of his limbs stiffened, fire rolling across every single nerve ending he had. He would have much preferred to be hit by a train, survive, then get hit again than to deal with this. At least the train would most likely paralyze him or destroy any nerve endings left. This just made each one ultra sensitive, made him hurt worse and worse.

He at least had the sense to turn his face when he felt it shifting; Chloe didn't have to see that. His spine went rigid, he felt it go straight up, the bones crackling and shifting and lengthening. Fur wasn't the first thing to grow this time; it was happening after his spine. Chloe's fingers brushed his shoulder, then rubbed between his shoulders. Vomit rolled through his throat, up to his mouth, and he spat it out, unable to hold it down. There goes twenty dollars of food… he thought wryly above the tumbling thoughts hidden under so much pain that they were indecipherable.

"Shh, it's okay." Chloe kept talking to him, telling him how she was right there, she wouldn't leave him; that he was doing great - like he was in labor or something. He figured maybe that would have been less painful anyways… or not.

Derek felt fur start to push through his skin, growing further than it had last time, and he knew, on some distant instinct, that this was it. He was going to Change.

"Do you want me to back up?" Chloe murmured, still rubbing his back soothingly. He realized he'd been shaking his head and growling. He shook his head again, vomiting way too close to his head for his comfort. Chloe shifted a little, too, and another stray, vague, and unwanted thought came to his head_: I hope I didn't get any on her, she deserves so much better for always helping me out when she doesn't have to…  
_

His hands curled and shrunk, losing the opposable thumb, gaining claws and padded paws. Gasping, he managed to get a look at Chloe's face. His eyes had a sharper detail now; he noticed her eyelashes fluttering just a tiny bit in what little breeze there was. She stared back at him, calm, cool, collected.

"You got it, Derek. It's alright." She murmured, very close; as if she was proving she wasn't scared. He felt his mouth and nose start to elongate and turned away quickly, so she wouldn't see it half way. He tossed his head back and howled, pain radiating from his stomach now. Chloe flinched and he glanced back, not turning his head, just using his eyes. Her left hand was bleeding. His ears- which he hadn't even noticed were changing- perked up, and he glanced around for the danger. It took a minute to realize he was the danger.

He grunted at her, attempting to ask what had happened, but his back stretched again, and he let out a horribly weak little moan that made him sound like a baby. His shoulders flexed hard, making him wince inwardly, but try to keep the sounds in, and his legs spazzed. He was seeing red now, sure his tongue was bleeding, and he could no longer decipher what was real and what was in his head and somehow instead of getting better, the pain got worse, worse still, the pain spreading like a liquid through his body, from the crown of his head to the heels of his feet, and all around in the center.

It was like being shot, stabbed, hit by a car, a bus, a train, an airplane and trampled by an elephant at the same time. He wished he could have any of those, any other one, because this pain was so, so intense that he couldn't hold it in any longer----

An animalistic scream of pain broke through his chest, and suddenly the world went black.

Xxx

Derek was gone, locked in a tiny box under the wolf. The wolf was in charge.

The wolf.

**Chloe**

"You did it, Derek." She murmured, staring in amazement at the magnificent creature before her. The wolf was lithe, a thin, compact body packed with muscle and not much else. It was the size of any wolf you'd see at the zoo with midnight black fur and vibrant green eyes to strike you straight to your soul; eyes Chloe could identify with only one person- Derek Souza. She offered him a smile, not even realizing that she was still petting his back until a growl vibrated up from his stomach. She pulled her hand back and stared at him.

"Now what? Want to work out your muscles and stuff before…figuring out how to change back?" The wolf snorted, backing up a little, keeping his eyes on her face. "Derek? What's wrong?" Fear shot through her; were they wrong? Was he a completely different person what he was in his Changed form? No, she couldn't let herself be afraid of Derek- he could probably smell her fear anyways.

**Derek/Wolf**

_Help me_, Chloe… Derek thought quietly, from the box he was locked in. I'm a monster, and I knew I would be. Why aren't you running?! He couldn't escape the hell that his mind was becoming. He was caged, locked in this beast. He couldn't control this body that was supposed to be his. He could see, he could hear the thoughts- they were his thoughts, too. The thoughts of biting, because this creature in front of him was strange. This creature smelled so familiar, this creature smelled of the thing the Wolf thought of as mate but it looked like what the Wolf also thought of as dangerous.

The Wolf was confused, and Derek was angry. He couldn't change this beast he'd become, he couldn't be anything different. Not for Chloe, not for Simon, not for his family. This was the real him. And Chloe wasn't even cowering- she just looked confused. He could smell no fear coming from her, no hesitation.

"D-Derek? Why ar-aren't you-" she stopped, and Derek felt his upper lip curl upwards in a snarl that made her flinch. He couldn't save her, not now, not anymore. This is the darkest side of me, Chloe. I can't control myself. No one can change what I am. Help me tame this animal, this monster I am. I can't escape what I am. I need you to help me believe this isn't who I really am, the person or wolf that's thinking of hurting you. Please.

The Wolf took a snap at her; she gasped. Rage from the Wolf was emanating because she wouldn't run away.

"I sit out here in the freezing c-cold and this is how- how I-I'm pa-paid back?" She glared at him, so indignant, so frustrated that Derek found himself gaining some control over himself. His tail flicked back and forth dangerously, ears flattened on his head, but he managed to make his lip lower, showing that he wasn't snarling any more. "This isn't you, Derek. You're just being weak and letting that animal control you. The wolf and you are the same person. If you can both think together, it'll be easier." How did she know about that?

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself? I always think of you as so strong- and not in the physical way, either-, but maybe I'm wrong, you big baby!" She shouted, and Derek took affectionate note of how she didn't stutter. _She thinks I'm strong? But not just in the physical way?_

His tail had stopped moving. His ears were not flat, but relaxed. He wasn't tensed, ready to strike. He was sitting there, watching her like a dog. He was in control of himself.

_'Hunt?'_ the Wolf thought towards Chloe, as if asking if that's what they were going to do to her.

_No. Never hunt, never hurt; protect_. Derek told himself this, then took a step towards Chloe, who didn't move. _Will you ever learn?_ He thought in exasperation. It wasn't really her fault. She'd only been on the run for a few weeks, and she had only recently begun to realize that she couldn't trust everyone simply because not everyone had done anything wrong to her.

"Derek?" She breathed, looking at him. Mine. He thought as he pressed his nose to her shoulder. She was shaking and had goosebumps all over her arms. He scooted closer, until he was sitting very close to her. She sighed and leant her weight against him, shivering more. "You're warm." She mumbled, pressing her face to his fur. "Maybe your wolf name can be Fluffy." Derek let out a snort, snapping his teeth a little for emphasis. "No? Fine." She giggled, but her voice was groggy. Derek shifted from foot to foot, staring at her. Blue eyes met his and he couldn't move for a moment before shifting again. "What? What is it Lassie? Is Billy stuck in the well again?" She asked jokingly.

No, Derek thought in frustration, I want to take you inside before I go play around. His thoughts were in vain though- she couldn't read minds. But she could take hints, though. He stood up, and waited until she did. He whined in a low voice.

"I'm not going inside, Derek. Seriously. I'll wait out here for you. You can go run around and stuff, and I'll wait right here." Derek growled gently, not wanting to scare her, but wanting to tell her he wasn't happy. "I don't care. I'm staying. Got it?" Derek nodded- strange, but he did- then started towards the house. Chloe followed. "I think…I'll get a blanket and some warmer clothes on, though." She murmured, and Derek snorted out a canine laugh. She flicked his ear, which turned towards her, listening carefully. She rolled her eyes.

"So what are you going to do all night? Do you know how to turn back? Will it be that hard every ti-" Derek let out a tiny bark, telling her to shut up. His muscles were tense and his body was suddenly quivering. His ears were flat, tail lowered. He lowered himself onto his belly, sniffing. The scent was vaguely familiar. _Another wolf? Or another werewolf?_

"Is it safe for me to go in the house? To get to it, at least?" Chloe asked, and, if Derek didn't know her very well, he would've been hurt that she was trying to save herself. But she was really trying to get help or maybe she was cold enough to ignore danger. He sidled closer and pressed his fur against her legs, which were clad only in sleep shorts. A soft sound from their left!

Derek spun quickly, a growl reverberating through the woods. A man walked through the trees, hands up, showing he was no danger to them.

"Hello, young wolf." He murmured very softly. Chloe stiffened; she had a right. She'd only known one werewolf that had no intent of hurting them, and he was giving off loud warning growls. "I'm not going to hurt you or your mate." Chloe's cheeks warmed, and she glanced down at Derek. He decided to ignore it and snarl..

The man stopped. He had wavy black hair that tumbled to his neck, almost his shoulders. It fell in his eyes, which were a vibrant green. He was at least six four with a muscled body, strong shoulders, broad chest. His face was clear and angular, and Derek had the oddest sense of recognition. The scent was so familiar, now, painfully familiar. A scent that was hardwired into his brain, even if he didn't want to remember it. Not that a face or even a name came with the scent. Just a scent he recognized too much.

"Your name, sweetheart?" He moved his eyes to Chloe, who gasped and rocked backwards. She murmured, "Those eyes…" and Derek felt himself quiver with something other than fear or anger.

"M-my name is-is C-Chloe." She stuttered, biting her lip afterward.

"Hello, Chloe. My name is Darren." He smiled softly, in a friendly way. Derek growled, drawing his attention back to him. His fur was rising slowly. "Oh, Derek. I know who you are. You're so grown up."

His eyes were soft, which surprised Derek to no end. He was nervous, and started pacing in front of Chloe. When Darren took a step forward, he snapped at his legs, snarling loudly. Chloe knelt down, and Derek growled a little at her stupidity.

_Don't make yourself vulnerable, Chloe. If you lose your balance, he'll get you, _he thought, worried. But she started speaking to him softly, so softly he barely heard her.

"There's…something…familiar about him..." But she didn't say anymore, instead standing up again.

"Derek, you don't know much about yourself, do you? Like how to get back to human form. How to change back to wolf form whenever you want. Those are within your abilities, you know." Derek was listening, but made it seem like he wasn't. Darren continued softly. "It's easier after the first time. The wolf is part of who you are, so it'll be like breathing. One minute your human, the next a wolf and there isn't anything in between. The first Change is the slowest because it's your body telling you how it's going to be. Slowly. You'll get the hang of it." He paused when Chloe squeaked. "Yes, darling?" He asked politely.

"I-it's not-not going to h-h-hurt him any-any more, right?" She asked slowly, her breath coming out in a white puff. The sun would rise in a few hours.

"Not any more, no. He'll feel quick swipes of pain in the first few times, but once he practices more, it'll be fine." He smiled softly, and Chloe started to relax. That pissed Derek off enough to growl at them both. Chloe jumped, looking at him, then absently pet his back, stroking her soft fingers through the upper coarse fur, making him forget his brief irritation at her.

"W-w-what about h-him Ch-Changing back to-to h-human?" Darren smiled, and Derek was getting frustrated.

Spit it out already, so I can get rid of you- get out of here! He thought fiercely, letting loose a feral snarl.

"He has to want to be human, of course. This time, it'll be just as bad as the Changing, but the rest, it'll be less drastic." Derek inwardly flinched. Again with the pain. But if he didn't Change back, didn't want to, he didn't have to. He could stay a wolf and just never have to deal with that pain. But he then felt, with more acute awareness than he would've liked, Chloe's hands shaking on his back. Her eyes were filled with tears, and he knew that somewhere, some higher being was counting everyone of her tears that Derek made and that he would be punished for them. He deserved nothing less.

"Who are you?" She finally demanded, swiping the tears and staring at the man dead in the eye (He was far enough away for her to do that without looking up). The man's eyes saddened and he looked at Derek now, ignoring her. Or so Derek thought.

"I didn't mean to leave you there; I really didn't." He took a deep, shaky breath just as Chloe sucked in a sharp breath. Derek didn't understand, as his mind had shut down the moment Darren said there. "Your mother- died. I couldn't…I couldn't do it by myself, Derek. I couldn't. So…" he sighed and looked down, then knelt and leant his head back, letting out an animalistic howl. He was exposing his throat! Derek wanted to go for the kill, let him bleed out, but Chloe touched his back.

"Leave, please, Darren." She murmured. "You're…" She paused. "You're going to have to leave." She wasn't stuttering, wasn't scared, because she wasn't worried about him hurting her. A suicidal werewolf. Darren stood, his head down, eyes averted, and started backing away. Then he glanced up at Chloe again. Derek watched his leg muscles, in case he attacked.

"Little necromancer, your mother…don't ever summon for your own gain." He murmured, then started away again. He was gone before they realized it. They were too busy agonizing on what this man had said.

Derek took off at a bullet speed, knowing full well that a wolf's stamina was better than its speed. He felt sick that he'd just left Chloe, but he had to get away for a while. They were close enough to the house that she could find it and go inside.

XXX

**Simon **

"Morning." Simon mumbled at Tori. He came in the girls' room of the safe house to get Chloe, but she was nowhere in sight. Tori scowled at him and flipped onto her stomach, pulling the blanket over her head. He backed out and looked at the stairs with a tilted head. Were Chloe and Derek both already downstairs? A flash of memory and intuition hit him; Derek had looked sick last night. Where were they? Probably outside, in the woods.

"Andrew!" Simon pounded on the man's door, until it swung open; Andrew wore a "where's the fire?!" expression, but Simon didn't bother to grace that with an explanation. "Have you seen Chloe or Derek?" Andrew's face paled. He was still a tiny bit apprehensive of Derek's ability to control himself.

"He was looking sick…"Andrew murmured, and Simon knew he was right about Andrew thinking Derek incapable of holding himself together. "He wouldn't…hurt Chloe, right?"

"No." Simon spat, temper flaring up.

"I have to ask, don't I? Go check outside and I'll be right down." Simon nodded, anger forgotten, and ran down the stairs, nearly skidding on the wooden floors.

Tori, Simon, and Andrew had been searching for an hour before Simon found them. His heart stopped for a moment, and he looked away, his pain quite evident. Not fair, he immediately thought. Then he got frustrated at himself for even thinking that. Chloe was on two blankets on the ground, and another one was over her. Derek was in a t-shirt and boxers, laying right next to her, his arm over her protectively. They were dead asleep. Tori and Andrew both came up, stopping cold.

"Are they…asleep?" Tori asked, trying not to laugh.

"Yes." Simon's voice was cold and dispassionate. Andrew shot him a look, then looked back at them. Chloe looked so incredibly small and child like; Derek looked huge next to her, making her size look even more dwarfed. But together they looked perfect. Simon looked away again.

"Should we leave them?" Tori sputtered, starting to laugh more. Andrew sighed, shaking his head.

"No, it's getting cold." Simon just walked away, keeping his face completely blank.

**So review, please. Pretty please. And yeah. It was longer than I expected it to be, but I hope you understood all of it. If not, I'll be happy to answer PM'ed questions, so please, go ahead. The next one is based off of Alyssa Lies, by Jason Michael Carroll. But it's not…never mind. You'll see.**


	2. Derek's First Friend

**Okay. So this one is when Derek is in third grade. It's called Derek's First Friend, and it's not Simon, cause they're in different classes. Also, the story doesn't have the same ending as the song; it's just loosely based on it. It's long as well, I'm afraid. Anyone who likes this story, it's going to be a bigger, longer chapter story later on. **

_My little girl met a new friend  
Just the other day  
On the playground at school  
Between the tires and the swings  
But she came home with tear-filled eyes  
And she said to me "Daddy, Alyssa Lies"_

I just brushed it off at first  
Cause I didn't know how much my little girl had been hurt  
Or the things she had seen  
I wasn't ready when I said you can tell me  
And she said

Alyssa Lies  
To the classroom  
Alyssa lies  
Everyday at school  
Alyssa lies  
To the teacher  
As she tries to cover every bruise

My little girl laid her head down  
That night to go to sleep  
As I stepped out the room I heard her say  
A prayer so soft and sweet  
God bless my mom and my dad  
And my new friend Alyssa  
I know she needs it bad

Alyssa Lies  
To the classroom  
Alyssa lies  
Everyday at school  
Alyssa lies  
To the teacher  
As she tries to cover every bruise

I had the worst night of sleep in years  
As I tried to think of a way to calm her fears  
I knew just what it was I had to do  
But when we got to school on Monday I heard the news

My little girl asked me why everybody looked so sad  
The lump in my throat grew bigger  
With every question that she asked  
Until I felt the tears run down my face  
And I told her that Alyssa wouldn't be at school today

She doesn't lie  
In the classroom  
She doesn't lie  
Anymore at school  
Alyssa lies  
With Jesus  
Because there's nothing anyone would do

Tears filled my eyes,  
When my little girl asked me why Alyssa lies

Daddy tell me why  
Alyssa lies

3rd person.

Derek Souza didn't care that none of the other kids liked him because he was so quiet. He was just happy that Simon played with him on the playground sometimes. But he didn't, today. So Derek just played by himself, finding the place between the tires and the swings a quiet place to sit and think. When he closed his eyes, though, he felt a light touch on his shoulder. A little girl with long brown hair smiled at him, showing a missing canine tooth, and she sat next to him in the soft green grass.

"You're Derek, right? I'm Alyssa." She smiled again, and lifted her arms, stretching like they taught them in gym. Derek's eyes caught how her jacket sleeve slipped down a little, showing her arms. He gasped. Bruises in the shape of hand prints on her forearm. Alyssa quickly put her arm down, hiding them. But Derek already understood, because he was smart.

"What happened?"

"Do you want to play?" She asked instead, jumping up.

"Why do you want to play with me?" He asked blankly. Alyssa frowned softly, her pink shell-coloured lips pulling down in a pout.

"Because your brother is playing with his friends, and because you're my friend." She said, taking his hand and tugging him towards the swings. "We can push each other. You can get on first." Derek shifted, then shook his head.

"No. I- don't want to swing."

"Well what do you wanna do?" She asked, pushing her brown hair out of her face. She was a little shorter than him, and she was wearing jeans and a baby blue t-shirt under her pink jacket.

"Do you want to…" he trailed off, remembering girls didn't like bugs. He bit his lip, eyes going to the sky as if to ask the clouds what to do.

"Let's go by the trees." She said quietly, tugging his hand again. Trees. Good. He understood trees, too, and it made him more comfortable whenever he was near nature. Some little boy from Simon's class yelled, "Ew! Alyssa why are you hanging out with Derek?!" Derek's shoulder's hunched. Alyssa went right up to him and stepped on his foot, twisting it in pretty well.

"Meany." She spat, walking back over to Derek and taking his hand. He saw some bruises on the back of her neck, too. Simon was now staring at the boy with his arms crossed and a mad expression on his face.

"Derek, what is that?" She tilted her head, wandering around the other side of the tree. A bird was flapping one wing hard, its other wing bent in an odd angle, limp.

"It's a Gray Jay. They're supposed to be further west." He said, looking at the bird in confusion. Alyssa tugged on his arm.

"It's hurt, Derek. Look, she's so sad." He looked at her sharply.

"How did you know it's a she?"

"Because." She pointed up and in the tree was a nest, with no eggs in it. Smart, Derek thought with affection. "It's good to help things that are being hurt, Derek." She went towards the bird carefully, then scooped it up in her little hands and clutched its unhurt wing to its side. It let out a terrible squawk. "Do you know how to help its wing?" She asked, and her eyes, so caramel coloured that he was surprised, were filled with tears.

"Yeah. Don't cry Alyssa, we'll help it."

That afternoon…

"Hey, boys. What went on at school today?" Dad asked as he drove them home. Simon launched into a long story about his game that he played and the spelling test he took that was hard, but not too hard; and the test he took in art that was easy, but not too easy. He talked about his friends that were nice, but not very nice. Dad's eyes went to Derek in the rearview mirror, but he didn't interrupt Simon. When they got home, Dad sent Simon up for his bath, and he sat Derek at the table.

"So what did you do today at school?" He asked him as he fixed a snack for them all before dinner. Derek couldn't help it; he smiled, childlike wonder coming to his face. Dad smiled, too.

"I made a new friend today." Dad paused. "Her name is Alyssa. She's real nice." He said, then sucked in a deep breath. "We found a Gray Jay today; it was hurt. She helped me fix it. Then we gave it to the teachers, and they said we were very good. Alyssa's in my class!" He said, kicking his eight year old legs excitedly.

"You made a friend? That's great, Derek." Dad said, smiling warmly. Derek felt as if he'd just earned a golden star; he forgot all about those bruises he'd seen. He forgot all the bad things, but he remembered how she'd called him her friend and that she was nice and that-

"Your turn!" Simon said, shaking his wet hair in Derek's face. He stuck his tongue out. "And why hang out with Alyssa Cook? All girls have cooties!" Simon shivered. "Ew."

Derek stared for a minute, then went up the stairs. Half way up, he heard his dad say something to Simon.

"Don't say anything like that to your brother, Simon. That wasn't very nice. He finally made a friend, and you're making fun of her?" He could almost hear Dad shaking his head.

The next day at school, Derek found out that Alyssa sat in the next aisle, right next to him. The teacher, Mrs. Miller, was fretting at the front of the class room, and Derek knew why. Alyssa was sporting a busted lip, and her wrists had bruises on them, and- because she was wearing shorts- they could all see the bruises on the backs of her legs. That morning in Gym, Alyssa had told Derek…

"Derek, can you keep a secret for me?" She whispered, standing on her tip toes.

"Yeah. What's wrong?" He asked, letting her off the swing. They were outside for gym today. 

"I know you want to know where these bruises came from. I saw you looking." She whispered. Derek nodded, listening intently. She stood on her tiptoes again. "My daddy did it. He hits me sometimes, when he's angry. Don't tell!" She whispered frantically as their class got called in. 

Here came Mrs. Miller, kneeling in front of Alyssa. Everyone turned to look at her. She took Alyssa's little hands, and Alyssa started to pull away, then decided against it. She did glance at Derek, though, for help. He stared helplessly.

"Alyssa, what happened to you?" _Good,_ Derek thought, _if she tells someone, they'll make her dad stop hitting her._ Then Alyssa did something bad, something that was really bad.

"I fell down. The rocks…when I was walking to school, I played at the rock hill and I slipped down it." Alyssa lied, and Derek felt his jaw pop open in shock. "It was an accident, don't worry, Mrs. Miller." With that she offered a bright smile, and Mrs. Miller smiled shakily at her; she walked away again, with a tiny "be more careful, Alyssa," before getting her marker out. Derek looked at her with sad eyes.

"Why'd you lie, Alyssa?" She wouldn't look at him. Derek's eyes filled up with tears, angry and sad tears, and he didn't understand why she hadn't told Mrs. Miller that her dad did it.

"Mrs. Mi-" Derek started, but Alyssa stopped him.

"You _promised,_ Derek!" She cried, quietly enough for Mrs. Miller not to hear. His mouth was still open, gaping, but he couldn't break his promise- that was lying, too.

Dad was the first one Derek went to. He had gotten home before Simon because Simon was getting tutored. Derek slammed the door and let his tears fall down; he didn't care that he was a baby, but he did care that Alyssa was…

"Derek." Dad knelt to his eye level. "Derek, what's wrong?"

"Dad, Alyssa lies." Derek said in a choked whisper, tears still falling. Dad relaxed a little, because he didn't understand.

"You can tell me, Derek. Come here." Dad picked him up quickly and set him on the couch.

"Alyssa lies to the teacher; she lied about her bruises!" He burst out, not even thinking about his promise. Dad's face paled. "She lied in the classroom! She lied to the teacher; and to the gym coach. She lies at school." He cried, but wiped his face quickly. Dad was staring at him with a mix of horror and pity, sympathy and fear.

"Alright, kid. Why don't you just- just go upstairs and take a nap while I deal with this." Dad murmured. Derek went upstairs, Dad following quietly behind.

When Derek thought he was alone, he knelt beside his bed and laced his fingers like he'd seen in a lot of movies.

"I don't know if I really believe in you, God, but if you are there, I really think that Alyssa needs you bad. So if you are real, and even if you aren't, can you bless my friend Alyssa? She needs you; she needs help. And I can't do anything, so it has to be you."

Kit covered his mouth and backed out, tears in his own eyes; he went to his phone and started calling anyone and everyone he could to deal with this.

Derek went to school on Monday well rested and upset; he was going to tell Alyssa that she was going to tell the truth. Instead of seeing her immediately, though, he saw police cars, and a tall lady that looked kind of like Alyssa, but not really. Simon stopped walking.

"What's going on, Dad?"

"That's Alyssa's mom, boys. She's going to take care of Alyssa now, alright?" He said, gripping Derek's shoulder gently. "She's gonna be okay, Derek. She has to go home today, though, to pack her things, alright? So you won't see her at school today." But Derek saw as the wind blew, a big, dark bruise on Alyssa's cheek; it wouldn't ever end. But she smiled and ran up and hugged him, kissing his cheek.

"Remember that I was your first friend, Derek!"

**Wasn't that the most heart warming thing you ever read? Bless his heart, Derek was adorable! Just kidding, Lmao. Anyways, I had too much sadistic fun with that one. But if you really liked the Alyssa and Derek friendship (And that's all it was, trust me; I like the Derek/Chloe pairing just as much as the next romance fanatic), then look for another story in this section by me, and it'll probably mention an old friend of Derek's reappearing (And the first chapter will probably be quick "sketches" of the times they met after third grade) in the Edison Group's place. We'll see. *smiles dangerously***


	3. You're Goin' Down

**Story #3: You're Goin' Down.**

**Author's Note**: Derek and Chloe are nineteen and eighteen here and they're together, walking around a park at noon. Yeah. If you've ever heard the song You're Going Down by Sick Puppies, you'll guess what's going to happen. And I changed like one line of the song, so if you do know the song, don't start lecturing me. Heh.

_  
Define your meaning of war  
To me it's what we do when we're bored  
I feel the heat comin off of the blacktop  
And it makes me want it more  
Because I'm hyped up, outta control  
If it's a fight I'm ready to go  
I wouldn't put my money on the other guy  
If you know what I already know_

It's been a long time coming  
And the tables' turned around  
Cause one of us is goin'  
One of us is goin' down  
I'm not runnin', it's a little different now  
Cause one of us is goin'  
One of us is goin' down!

Define your meaning of fun  
To me it's when we're gettin' it done  
I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop  
So get ready for another one  
Let's take a trip down memory lane  
The words circulate in my brain  
You can treat this like another murder scene  
But don't cry like a bitch when you feel the pain

It's been a long time coming  
And the tables' turned around  
Cause one of us is goin'  
One of us is goin' down  
I'm not runnin', it's a little different now  
Cause one of us is goin'  
One of us is goin' down!

This is hardly worth fighting for  
But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore  
With my fist in your face and your face on the floor  
It'll be a long time comin'  
But you got the message now  
Cause I was never goin'  
Yeah, you're the one that's going down!

One of us is going down!  
I'm not runnin', it's a little different now  
Cause one of us is goin'  
One of us is goin' down!

One of us is going down!

**3rd Person**

Chloe was chatting happily as Derek and she walked around the black-top of a nearby basketball court. She was explaining the sensation of having a ghost kiss your forehead- Derek had scowled a little but he eventually lightened up, squeezing her fingers as she waved her other hand for emphasis. It had been her mother, she was sure, that had kissed her while sleeping; she was the only one who would do that.

"And it was- What's wrong?" Derek had paused, chin tilted up just a little, eyes narrowed and searching as he sniffed the breeze.

"Nothing, I just thought I…" He trailed off, sniffing again. Chloe glanced around, tensing herself as well. Someone suddenly jerked her from Derek, throwing her to the ground. Her head bounced off the ground, but she was on her feet in seconds while Derek was snarling and swearing at a face better left to memory: Liam, of course; Chloe looked around quickly - searching for Ramon - but he was nowhere in sight.

"Don't worry, cutie. He's dead. Got a little mouthy with me and we all know I'm not gonna take that," he said smugly; But his eyes were lying, and she knew that it had been Derek, when he hit his head on the pole. _Severe brain damage? Something else?_

"This is between us, Liam. Let's go." Chloe stared at Derek; _was he stupid_?

Sometimes. When it came to her.

It was horrible as they squared off on the blacktop, heat rising off of it in waves. Derek was hopping- he wanted this. Chloe was a little sickened that he did want this. She knew it was his way of seeing if he'd gotten any stronger (she knew he had; a lot of things had changed with him- face cleared up (not that that really mattered, but it helped his outlook) he'd gotten nicer, and a little taller (possible…); his eyes stayed that piercing green, his hair the same jet black).

"Oh, you're ready for this, aren't you, pup?" Liam laughed, loosening his shoulders. They were still circling like wolves, their eyes locked on each other.

"You've been asking for this since that night, Liam." Derek rolled his neck, flicking his tongue over his teeth. "This is gonna be a little different now, dude. The tables are turned; I'm stronger, and you're older." He let loose a strange laugh that made Chloe shiver as she paced frantically, wanting to get in there, knowing she couldn't. This was his fight. "I'm not running this time; one of us is going to go down. And I'll give you a hint- it's not me. Just don't cry like a bitch when you're done." With that Liam struck. Then they were throwing fists, and at first, Chloe felt her heart start to race when Liam started to get Derek down.

"Guess what?" Liam sneered as they pulled back, lips bleeding and both panting. "When we're done with this, I'm gonna get to play with your mate. Won't that be fun?" He laughed, but he was still panting.

"I don't think so," Derek growled, eyes narrowing. He swung hard, a nice right hook to Liam's head. His head whipped to the side, blood spitting from his mouth. Chloe wanted desperately to get into the fight- her fists were clenched, her feet itching to move.

Derek was high on adrenaline. He was having a flash back to when he practically got his ass handed to him a few years ago. When the only thing that kept him from collapsing was guessing what they would've done to Chloe if he did. He dodged a quick shot at his mouth, then struck his fist out like a viper, hitting Liam square in the nose.

Blood sputtered out and down his face. Liam licked his lip of the blood, grinning. A few quick kicks to the ribs, one to the leg; Derek was getting frustrated. He lifted his leg in front of himself, and planted it squarely against Liam's chest, sending him flying at least thirty feet away. Chloe let out a scream, and the rage filling Derek's head snapped away in an instant; he looked up and saw her get hit by Liam's flying body. She was thrown to the ground. Liam lifted her head by her hair- blonde, again- and put his face right next to hers, whispered something. Her face turned bright red and she slapped him.

"Derek!" She shrieked when he put his arm around her waist. His mouth went to her shoulder and he nudged her shirt out of the way. Derek had never moved so fast in his life, slamming all of his body weight into Liam's. Chloe yelped, but probably from being in the middle of it.

Chloe saw Derek's eyes flash red. Not literally, but if it were possible, they would have. He had his knees on Liam's chest and his fists were moving so fast they were practically residing in his face. She could vaguely hear him growling some words.

"Don't (_punch_) you (_punch_) ever, ever (_punch and a broken nose_) touch her ever again!" (_multiple punches to the mouth_). Liam's head lulled to the side and Chloe crawled over to them, touching Derek's shoulder. He stopped, swinging his head towards her. The expression on his face shifted from animalistic rage to purely-Derek worry.

"Did he hurt you? Bite you?" He fussed over her. Chloe shook her head, and to prove it moved her shirt sleeve to show that her skin was unblemished. A scowl started to form on his face and he got up slowly. "What did he say to you?" Her cheeks heated up and Derek pulled her up gently. "Just tell me. I promise I won't get mad."

"He said…" she paused to clear her throat. "He said that…" her face was white hot now, and she looked away.

"Just tell me." Derek repeated, turning his head away. He knew it was easier for her to talk if he wasn't looking at her.

"He said…that my…boobs got bigger since the last time we met!" She burst out, turning nearly the colour of blood. Derek tried not to laugh- he even put some real effort into it. But he did anyways, a quick snort of laughter. Chloe stopped blushing, looking up at him with a tilted head.

"You know, your voice has changed, too."

"What?" Derek asked, confused at the change of subject. His body was trembling now as adrenaline drained from it quickly.

"Your voice used to be all deep and rumble-y and sometimes growl-y, now it's a really smooth baritone. It's nice." She bit her lip and stepped towards him, whispering, "It's sexy." Derek almost laughed again -Chloe couldn't say words like that without seeming like a seventh grader first saying the word 'sex' in Teen Living class.

**A/N: Haha that was fun. I love guy fights. I was going to make it more descriptive, but it started to get a lot, lot longer, so I didn't want to bore you guys.**


	4. All Over You

**This seems fun!! This is going to be about the song All Over You by The Spill Canvas. Yay… I have a weird taste in music. Here are the lyrics…btw does that bother anyone? That I put lyrics of the songs up? Ooh, we may not like this one, my Chlerek lovers. But don't worry, it's mostly about Derek pining, so that may some sick sadists happy…? Lol it did for me. :D And for all the people who know me personally, I'm not as mean as you think! Taking the ending of this story: ****"I'm a damn good person!"**

_Yeah he's a looker,  
but I really think it's guts that matter most.  
I displayed them for you,  
strewn out about from coast to coast._

_I am easily make believe,  
just dress me up in what you want me to be.  
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now._

_I gotta feel you in my bones again,  
I'm all over you.  
I'm not over you.  
I wanna taste you one more time again,  
I'm all over you.  
I'm not over you._

_In my daydreams, in my sleep,  
infatuation turning into disease.  
You could cure me, see all you have to do now  
is please try.  
Give it your best shot and try.  
All I'm asking for is love,  
but you never seem to have enough._

_I gotta feel you in my bones again,  
I'm all over you.  
I'm not over you.  
I wanna taste you one more time again,  
I'm all over you.  
I'm not over you.  
This life is way too short  
to get caught up in all this stuff  
when I just want you to love me back,  
why can't you just love me back?_

_Why can't you just love me back?  
(why can't you, why can't you)  
Why can't you just love me back?  
(why can't you, why can't you)  
Why can't you just love me back?  
(why can't you, why can't you just love)_

_I gotta feel you in my bones again,  
I'm all over you.  
I'm not over you.  
I wanna taste you one more time again,  
I'm all over you.  
I'm not over you.  
This life is way too short  
to get caught up and all mixed up  
when I just want you to love me back,  
why can't you just love me back?_

_Why won't you just love me back?_

_Why can't you just love me back?_

**Derek (Everything from now until I say otherwise is in 3rd person)**

It wasn't fair, really, that Chloe was excited and blinded by this little date Simon had set up. Oh, it had the works- she would love it. The whole thing was a scene straight from a sticky romance movie. He'd put a red blanket on the ground, under a tree in the sunlight. There were candles that stayed unlit and a picnic basket with some cups beside it. Derek wondered idly if he'd even stolen some of Andrew's wine.

It wouldn't be a surprise, Simon doing that to impress a girl. The things he'd done…Derek shook his head. But Chloe- Chloe wouldn't go for that, she wasn't the type to drink underage. She would be upset with him, if he did that.

Still, the only thing Derek could do while his soul_mate_, his life_mate_, his Chloe went to his brother was watch and pine and feel sorry for himself. She'd been so excited when Simon asked her out, too. Her eyes lit up, her smile widened, and she said, in the happiest tone Derek had heard her ever use, "Of course!" So what did _Derek_ do? Derek stood back, watched from the shadows. Simon was excited as well; then again, his options were limited, even if Chloe was pretty- and she was gorgeous, especially in mind and heart- she was brave, too, but Simon would get bored soon; Very soon. And Derek couldn't watch him hurt her by being bored.

It wasn't fair to her. She deserved undivided attention from any man. Even if it wasn't (cringe) him. He would much prefer it that way, but what could he do? Interrupt their date and say, "Hey, Chloe…I know this is weird, and I sort of always act like a jackass towards you, but guess what? I'm in love with you and you're sort of my mate. So if you choose to be with some other guy, I couldn't even hate you for it. I'd just live my life alone and watch sulkily from the side lines. So what d'ya say?" That wouldn't work, and it'd hurt Simon too, even if she dissed him and dismissed him, as he was sure she would, anyways.

"Hey, Simon." Chloe called, looking sweet as ever in her white cotton dress and the sandals that Andrew had bought her. It was his thank you for helping out. She smiled at him and sat on the blanket. Simon looked up and grinned his mellow, cool guy grin. Derek knew Simon was way better looking than himself- it had always been like that. But Chloe was also the type of girl who didn't go for looks alone. At least, Derek thought he'd figured that much out about her, but maybe he was wrong.

"Hey, Chloe. You seen my brother?" The way he said that left Derek with his head tilted just a little, confused. Chloe's lip puckered- she was confused, too.

"No, not since this morning. Why?"

"No reason, really." But he had that mischievous grin that made everyone who knew him nervous.

"Oh." Chloe only saw the innocent side of Simon- she'd never seen the mischief in him. Not yet, at least. _Please, Simon,_ Derek thought desperately, _please take care of her_. _Don't do anything stupid_…

"Anyways, why don't you get started- wait, I'll set it up." He set out a bunch of food on paper plates and in paper bowls and into foam cups he poured Kool-Aid and a bunch of other stuff he shouldn't have been eating. Derek rolled his eyes, about to intervene when he remembered that was probably a reason his subconscious made up to interrupt. He'd get him later, _after_ eavesdropping on their date.

"There. Now we're just missing one thing…" He rooted around in the basket, swore and stood up. "I'll be right back, madam." He kissed her hand and started toward the house. Derek was sitting in a hidden spot on the roof. He could, quite easily, see very much pain and pride in Simon's eyes. His walk was that of a young soldier going to war for the first and last time; some of them just know they'll never be going home.

"Derek?" He had made his way up to the roof now, and sat beside Derek. He stiffened and looked at his blond brother.

"Yeah?" He acted as if he'd been sleeping. "What's up?"

"What are you doing up here?"

"Just watching the sky, calculating how much force it would take…" He trailed off, knowing that Simon wasn't really listening by the glisten of regret and hurt in his eyes; no shame, though, only pride lay behind those painful emotions.

"Look." He started, then stopped again, taking a deep breath and rubbing his palms against his jeans. "Look," he started again, "I know how you feel about Chloe. Your whole attitude toward her has totally changed since you first met." Derek stiffened again.

"So what? She's got that sort of personality. Maybe she's teaching me manners." Simon was shaking his head the whole time.

"No, I can tell. And you know what? I think I feel the same way about her, too. She's that kind of person- you can't get to know her and _not_ love her- don't you cringe, Derek Souza! Yes, I just said the "l" word- but I don't think that I'm _in_ love with her, the way you are." Derek opened his mouth to deny it, but Simon flicked his wrist to ignore him. "Don't lie, either, Derek, we're brothers, and I know you."

"So what?"

"So what? So _what_?!" Simon shook his head. "You think- that I knew about this the whole time and I was going to sit there and let you watch me flirt and kiss and play with your girl? Damn, D! What kind of guy do you think I am?"

"You knew I was here?" Derek asked dryly.

"Yeah. When you live with someone for as long as I've lived with you, you get to notice things, you weasel."

"I'm a wolf, not a weasel." They rolled their eyes at each other. Derek didn't quite understand yet, but he still noticed the pain in his brother's eyes.

"Well, she's waiting for your date. Look." Chloe put her hand up over her head, waving at him, but not looking. "I set it up, you big idiot." Derek stared, gaping in just the slightest way. "I asked Chloe if she wanted to go out on a date, but not with me." Simon nudged him. Derek leaped off the roof, landing with his legs crouched and a slight roll to keep his balance.

Simon watched with tears in his eyes. Good thing about being human? You usually found another love after your first.

"I'm a damn good person." Simon muttered, laughing a little.

**

* * *

**

**Simon is the most bestest brother in the whole widest world. I mean, dudes, would you not love it if you and your brother were in love with the same girl and he gallantly backs off? If I was a dude, I would so totally. Same with you girls, only reversed. Because If I had a sister and I was in that situation, I would like it if she backed off too. Anyways… That one was shorter and sappier than usual…Review, pretty please, or at least send me a message so I know you're reading…  
**


	5. First Fights

**This next song is called **_**Alone in this Bed**_** by Framing Hanley. Yay! I know, aren't we excited? Not. Whatever. Heh heh, so what are we thinking so far? After this one, I'm going to start putting up Biting the Hand that Feeds, a chapter story. I hope you read it, but, meh, I shrug. Oh, I don't own any of the characters or the songs for that matter. I simply own the ways that I twist and bend them to my will. XD**

_Waking up without you, it doesn't feel right  
To sleep with only memories is harder every night  
And sometimes I think I can feel you  
Breathing on my neck_

_Tonight, I'm reaching out to the stars  
I think that he owes me a favor  
It doesn't matter where you are  
I'll hold you again_

_I wish, I could hear your voice  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
I wish, I could touch you once more  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
Not tonight, not tomorrow_

_I've got the feeling that this will never cease  
Living in these pictures, it never comes with ease  
I swear, if I could make this right  
You'd be back by now_

_Tonight, I'm screaming out to the stars  
He knows he owes me a favor  
It doesn't matter where you are  
You'll be mine again_

_I wish, I could hear your voice  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
I wish, I could touch you once more  
Don't leave me alone in this bed_

_What about the friends that we had?  
We've been crazy not to go  
Leave me in case and I'll_

_I wish, I could hear your voice  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
I wish, I could touch you once more  
And don't leave me alone in this bed_

_Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
_

**First Fights**  
Derek –23 Chloe –2

No matter what way Derek twisted or turned in his King sized bed, he couldn't get comfortable. Chloe was gone for the night; she was at Tori's house. Of course. They'd just had their first fight. Well, first fight as newlyweds. It was their worst fight, too. He hated thinking about it, about the things that were said…

_"Derek Souza!" Chloe screamed, tears in her eyes. "Why is it that every time you have a bad day, you come home and drink until you can't even stand up right?" Derek shot out of his seat._

_"I haven't been drinking!"_

_"Not yet!" She shouted, flicking hair out of her eyes. "Not that you weren't planning on it!" In all actuality, he was planning on not drinking unless it was a social occasion, not that he was telling her that he was going to quit._

_"I wasn't! What happened to all that trust you've been talking about?"_

_Chloe sighed loudly, throwing her hands up. "Trust? That disappeared when you accused me of flirting with Simon! Your brother, my brother-in-law!" She shook her head._

_"You were flirting, Chloe," Derek said in the voice that told he knew he was right, and nothing she said would change his mind. Well…_

_"You think that every time I'm talking to another guy that I'm planning on cheating on you, Derek! Can't you see that I love you? I don't try to hurt you, like you do when you're mad at me!"_

_"I've never-"_

_"Verbally!" She spat. "I just can't deal with this!" she shrieked, walking away. Derek followed her, powering quickly into the kitchen._

_"What can't you handle, Chloe? Well? Go ahead and say it! Stop being such a little coward and say it!" That stung him as he said it, but the anger was blocking any sort of rational thought. Her baby blues filled up and she stared him straight in the face and he knew what she said next would hurt like hell._

_"I can't deal with your possessiveness. I can't deal with the wolfish acts I have to put up with; namely your temper, the territoriality, the rage, and the fact that no matter what I do, you seem determined to make me the bad guy!"_

_He actually rocked backwards, almost falling. He caught himself on the counter- it was custom made as was the rest of the house- and stared at her through wounded eyes. Oh, that was low, so low, and yet… he deserved it, deserved the searing pain that torpedoed through him; he deserved how his insides squirmed in guilt and how his eyes stung immediately with tears._

_"You said yes," he whispered. She stared at him, confused. "You knew how I was. You have known me since we were sixteen and fifteen. I never hid anything from you. And you still said yes, knowing everything." His voice was soft. It got louder, now, "You said yes, DAMMIT!" She flinched; outrage filled her eyes._

_"So it's my fault then? It's all my fault that I said yes to y-y-your-" She stopped as she stuttered, obviously annoyed. "This is all my fault because I agreed to marry you?" She spoke the words so softly that Derek knew instinctively to back down. But he didn't, just kept leering at her. "Then maybe…maybe it wasn't as good an idea as we thought. Goodbye, Derek." She whispered. She snatched her purse up off the counter, got in the car, and left._

That was the first time in a long time that Derek had cried, really cried, full out _bawled_. She was gone, gone for good, finally done with putting up with his anger, his impatience… but what about all those good memories they had? Obviously, they didn't outweigh the bad, but they were surely worth _something_. The vacation they took to the beach; the playful days they'd stay home from work and just wrestle or tease each other gently and lovingly; when Derek would surprise her with some little gift that was basically nothing, but made her eyes light up. They'd only been married for a few months - five, in fact - and already…they were over.

Derek had to fix it, but he couldn't. He stared through the window, glaring hard, as if it was the sky's fault that he was stupid on how to keep someone he loved around. The stars twinkled merrily at him, as if to say, "_Ha-ha! You've lost her, and it's all your fault, and guess what? We're going to go on as normal, even as your heart shatters slowly!_" He wanted to hold her so badly, one last time, show her how much he loved her. It was silly, but he got up, out of bed and started walking around their large house. He went to the kitchen first and poured any sort of liquor or beer down the drain, with the water on. He tossed the empty bottles and cans into the trash. It wasn't really that that the fight had made him want to start over, it was strain. But still, he was in the wrong about that. He knew what that did to Chloe, when she saw him drinking, even if it was only now and then.

Derek put his hands flat on the counter, resting his weight there and putting his head down. More tears fell, and his body shook. It wasn't fair. She was gone. And he had actually tried.

"_You see? Every time you feel strongly for someone, you push them away, some way or another._" He jumped at the voice, then realized it was his own voice talking. "Why?" He whispered back, not caring that he was talking to himself.

"_Because you're convinced that you're dangerous. How long have you and Chloe been together? And not once have you hurt her at all. But you still pushed her away._" Apparently his subconscious was a lot more confident than he was; Chloe's pep talks were going somewhere. Derek let out a sob of a laugh, then shook his head. He couldn't go back to that bed, where he'd be alone all night; probably for the rest of his life.

Derek eventually gave in and went back to bed, falling into a fitful sleep where he dreamt that Chloe had seen a ghost on the road and swerved, thinking it was a real person. She'd crashed into a tree. While he was following the ambulance to the hospital, he woke up - he felt a familiar presence...

"Chloe!" He gasped, sitting up, disoriented, scared, shaking, but not for himself; for Chloe - because for a moment, he'd thought the dream was real. _Was she okay_? He had to call Tori, he really did. He reached for the phone, but stopped when a shaking hand caught his fingers. It was tiny and delicate, looking like a doll hand. The nails were painted a very delicate pink, and the touch of skin on his hand made his heart pitter patter quickly.

"It's okay, Derek." She murmured. He saw her face, the redness around her eyes and the slight reddening in her cheeks: she'd been crying. "It's alright. I'm sorry, God, I'm so sorry." She threw herself into his arms, crying more into his shoulder. He curled himself around her, rocking her gently, and they both cried together. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

"So am I." They looked into each other's eyes and simply stared. Derek hoped all his love was showing through his eyes, though he knew he had no problems saying it to her. He just wanted her to know he wasn't lying to her.

"I love you, Chloe Souza," he said sincerely.

She smiled a little. "I love you, Derek Souza. I love that our names are the same; I love that we live together; I even love it when you snore."

Derek looked away. "I do not snore!"

She rolled her eyes and turned his chin towards her. "Kiss me." He did, gently at first, but a little more enthusiastically when she slid her tongue very lightly over his bottom lip. His hands positioned themselves on her hips, hers on his shoulders. She pushed his button up shirt off and he slid her shirt over her shoulders, bearing them but not her. He dropped soft kisses all over her shoulders, making her shiver. Her hands were making trails over his back, trails of what felt like fire.

"Don't leave me again." He whispered, hiding the tears in his eyes as he lowered her onto to the bed.

"Never," she whispered, catching his lips with hers.

**XXX**

**2 Months Later…**

Chloe stared hard at the little plastic strip. It could be wrong- it most likely _was_ wrong. She could convince herself that it was wrong- she was good at denial. But…it was the fourth one.

She called Derek at work and told him she was feeling better (she'd been home sick for a few days before she finally decided to try this…) and that she wanted him to come home.

"On my way. Don't leave the house, okay?"

"Alright. I…"

"What?"

"I love you." She whispered. A soft sigh on the other end.

"I love you, too." They hung up- they never said "good bye" or even "bye" because that was too final.

When Derek got home, Chloe was nervous. She was pacing and twisting her hands. What would he say? How would he take it? Would he flip out? No, they'd been married –very happily besides a few little quibbles in between –for seven months. It wasn't like…like this just _happened_…it was like-

"Chloe?" Derek called from downstairs, closing the door. "Where are you?"

"U-up here! I'm f-fine." She scowled at her stutter, and knew that Derek would be up the stairs in a second. She tossed the evidence in the trashcan, flipped the light off, and left the bathroom.

"What's the matter?" He took her face in his hands, making her feel tiny and safe all at the same time. She melted against him, closing her eyes and letting his steady heart beat and his even breathing steady her.

"I have some…news."

"Good or bad?" He asked, not even hesitating.

"Depends." His eyebrows furrowed, confused. "On how you take it, I mean."

"Oh. Well, spit it out."

"Derek, I'm… pregnant." She said, then she bolted into the bathroom, locking the door. Derek sat down, hard, on the bed. He felt lightly dizzy, as if someone had drained the blood from his head or like he'd been standing with his knees locked for too long. _Pregnant? How_? Well, duh, he knew _how_. He knew exactly _how_, and probably _when_, too: the last time they didn't use any sort of preventative precautions was… when they had their fight.

Derek started quickly going over things in his head, none of which involved adoption or abortion. _Okay, so the baby will either be a werewolf or a necromancer, or both, which would be bad, but_…Derek rolled his shoulders and knocked very softly on the door.

"Chloe, come out, please."

"No. You hate me." She said thickly. He could hear the tears in her voice.

"I do not hate you!" he scolded gently. "Please come out here." The door opened slowly, revealing Chloe standing there with tears on running down her face. Something had changed though, he could see that...

"We're keeping it," she whispered, not looking at him. "Or at least, I am. If you don't want it, you…"

"I want it." He said instantly. Oh, the change that took over her face at that moment- you would have thought he said he was going to buy her an island or something. The tears magically vanished, the sad draw of her face cleared, and her eyes were shining with new, happy tears. She threw her arms around him and kissed him sweetly.

**XXX**

**7 months later…** ^-^

"D-Derek?" Chloe called. She was lying on the couch, but she looked stricken, her face pale white. Simon was in the house, too, along with Rae, Tori, and Kit. They were all there to help take care of Chloe.

"What?" he asked, tiredly. She'd been keeping him up all night for a very long time.

And then he saw her face. Simon came in the room calmly, and saw her face too.

"Oh. Shit!" he said, dropping his cup. It shattered, but no one noticed. The house was suddenly full of motion. Rae and Tori had magically worked together to do the baby's room. They were the only ones who knew the gender, so no one was allowed to see the room.

"Alright, out to the car. Can you walk Chloe?" Kit asked, quite calmly. Rae was already starting the car. Tori had grabbed anything they needed. Simon was getting the car ready. Derek was standing there, pale faced.

"Uh, uh, I think so." She tried to heave herself to her feet, but winced. Derek snapped into focus and picked her up easily. She kissed his cheek, panting just a tiny bit. "Thank you."

**Hours later…**

"Mr. and Mrs. Souza….it's twins!" the doctor proclaimed excitedly while the nurses jotted down the date and time of birth: January 1st, 1:11 AM. Derek stared at the man as if he was nuts.

"Twins?" he asked, looking from the doctor to Chloe. She was still panting from the effort.

"Twins?" They stared at each other, faces lighting up. The doctor nodded.

"Twins." They said in unison.

"A boy and a girl." The sweet nurse said, handing over the two children to Chloe. She got the one wrapped in blue and Derek held the little girl. He stared into the tiny face for a long time, his breathing heavy. _His daughter_. She had black hair, with pale white skin. Her pale pink lips opened with a slight whimpering sound. He held her closer to his body and she stopped the crying.

"Here are the birth certificates." The parents signed their own names and Chloe wrote Tala Souza on their daughter's certificate.

"That means I get to name our son." He said it like that, simply so he could say it. They grinned at each other. Simon stared at the babies.

"I want to hold Tala." He said instantly. "She's my niece, I get first dibs!"

"She's my niece, too. Let me hold the boy." Tori said. Rae was standing at the back.

"Grandparents get first dibs." Kit said, pushing through them. A voice caught all of them off guard.

"He's right. Grandfathers should get first dibs."

"Dad." Chloe whispered. He'd been at their wedding, too, but he was never around much. He smiled softly and nodded.

"Can I see my grandchildren? Or- or is there a limit on how long someone is gone before they get kicked out?" he asked jokingly.

Kit immediately jumped in. "This is Tala Souza." He said, taking the tiny girl and showing her to Mr. Saunders. The man looked at the little girl and then looked at Derek, who offered a friendly nod.

"She looks like you." He said with a nod right back. Derek's cheeks heated up quickly, looking at Chloe for help; she just nodded in agreement. He wrote quickly on the birth certificate for their son, trying to ignore the anxious stares. Fynn Souza. Of course, their middle names were on there, but the family just wanted to see the first names. Simon choked when he saw Fynn's middle name, and darted out of the room. Tala's middle name was Elizabeth; no one asked who this was after.

"So when does the spoiling start?" Kit asked, looking down at his granddaughter. She her eyes flickered open, and everyone gasped in unison. She had one blue eye, one green. Fynn opened his eyes at his mommy- he had a mop of blond hair already- and his were the same, only his left eye was green instead of his right, like his sister's.

"Damn, you guys made some cute kids. How the heck did that happen?" Tori laughed, holding Fynn for the first time. Derek took Tala from his father, politely, but still wanting to keep her for himself. He never wanted to let her out of his sight. Ever.

* * *

**That was WAY longer than I expected it to be. I didn't expect to do that part, but I was feeling mushy-gooshy so we're just going to go with it. Review, please. I have thirty reviews, and about six hundred something hits. What is that about? Oh, well, I'm happy with my reviews, anyways. You guys are awesome. Thanks.**


	6. I Hate Everything About You

**Chapter six to Animal I Have Become…This one is sort of sad guys- sorry. Sad, but pretty good, I think, if I can word it right. Oh, and I need you to tell me if you want me to start Chloe's one shot story with a sad one, then they get better, or make the sad one second or third or something? Please and thank you! **_Falco sparverius_ Linnaeus

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?

Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
I hate everything about you  
why do I love you?

Only when I stop to think about you  
I know  
Only when you stop to think about me  
Do you know?

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me?

I hate  
You hate  
I hate  
You love me

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?

Derek crossed his arms, glaring down at Chloe. She was obviously annoyed, and that was making him annoyed, mostly because he wasn't sure what he did to get her in a bad mood- not that it took much, when it came to him. She had her arms crossed, nose scrunched up just a little bit.

"What's wrong now?" he asked in a snarl, baring his teeth a little bit at her. She narrowed her eyes.

"You've been nothing but a big-" she cut herself off for a moment, as if considering what to call him. "A big jerk since we got here and I want to know why. Now." She tapped her foot impatiently, as if he actually planned to answer.

"I don't know what you're complaining about," he said in a terrible hiss, "you and Simon have been alone together the entire time. Tori's too busy to really bother you guys." Chloe looked a bit confused.

"What?" Then she shook her head. "I'd like it better if you'd stop being so rude. We're trying to get along." She said, then her face crumbled from the angry expression to one really _sad_ frown. "What's wrong? Aren't you- I thought we were friends, Derek." He got nervous. He exploded. It wasn't his fault.

"Friends?" he spat, "We are _not_ friends, Chloe." She flinched.

"W-we aren't? I-I…sorry. I j-just th-thought that m-maybe because…"

"You assumed, and you assumed wrong." He stared down at her blankly, willing her to go away.

"B-but y-you…we- I- we-" she stammered, face reddening. "Why are y-you acting like this? We were getting along f-fine."

"Because now that we're here I don't _have_ to put up with you." He flicked his wrist. "Go play with Simon or something." His gut twisted at the tears that dripped off her chin.

"I w-wanted to talk to y-you."

"Well _I_ don't want to talk to _you." _He snapped, baring his teeth automatically. She swallowed hard.

"Is there any w-way you could t-tell me w-what I did to m-make you feel that way?" She asked very quietly.

"What you did?" He let out a short bark of a laugh. Chloe flinched, eyes dropping to the floor like a scolded child. Good; she wouldn't see the expression on _his_ face when he said what he was going to say.

"Y-y-yes." She whispered. She wouldn't meet his eyes, which was just as well.

"Everything. Wrong." She looked up now, confused. He knew his statement didn't make sense, spaced as the two words were. "You do everything wrong." Now she blinked harder. Fat tears rolled down her face and Derek stopped himself from swallowing guiltily.

"I do…everything…wrong." She repeated, as if in a trance.

"Don't you see Chloe?" he asked in another hiss. "I hate everything you do. I hate how you keep getting us caught, I hate how you keep getting yourself in trouble so I have to save you-"

"Okay." She said softly. But he was on a roll now.

"I hate how you can't figure out that I don't want you around me. I hate how everything makes you cry. I hate how you won't just take the freaking _hint_ and go out with Simon."

"Okay." She said just a little bit louder. Not loud enough. He didn't want to say this, but it'd been ready to burst out since the truck stop, the bus stop, so he couldn't stop.

"I hate how you brought Tori along, though you know the chance that she's a possible traitor is extremely high." He snarled, "I hate how jumpy you are and how loud you are. I hate how _stupid_ you are." She physically flinched. "I hate how you can't figure out to leave me alone. I hate how long it takes for you to understand things. I hate how you make stupid choices. I hate how you're nice to everyone."

"O_kay."_ Chloe said a bit louder again. Derek stalked closer, breathing just a little heavier.

"I hate how you can't leave well enough alone. I hate how you don't learn a lesson. I can't stand it when you sit there and just look at me or someone when they yell at you and just take it. I hate how you can't seem to say no when you should. I hate how-"

"_**OKAY!"**_ Chloe yelled, tears racing down her cheeks. "I GET it, alright? You hate me, fine, I get it. You don't have to point out every little flaw since we met." _I do have to, though, Chloe,_ Derek thought, _other wise my idiot mind won't fully GET it. _

"I didn't." He said honestly, because he could have pointed out a lot more. Not that that was a good thing, it was just a fact. Derek liked to work with facts. He was better with those than in social life –explaining why he couldn't relate in Literature or English. Not very well, at least, and that's usually how he ended up with a C- and that was if Simon helped sometimes.

"Oh, right. You were sparing my feelings by only pointing out a few things. Thanks." Chloe laughed, tears making her face very red. She was gasping now. Derek had to pause, keep himself from apologizing or something. He had to do this, because it was the right thing to do. It was. It had to be.

"No, there are just too many to name when you keep interrupting." He said darkly. She snorted a laugh that caused a few tears to splash off her face.

"Of course you'd remember them all. You're a genius." Derek scowled.

"I'm not a-"

"I wasn't asking you." She snapped, head cocked slightly to her left. He almost asked if it was a ghost, if there was one here, but he knew enough about people –about Chloe at least –to know that he didn't have that privilege any more. "J-Just…f-f-fine." She gave him one last miserable look, then left, marching around him. He listened to the door slam. He listened to her walk a few feet down the hallway, then listened to her slide down the wall, sobbing.

He knew if he listened long enough, he'd hear Simon find her. He'd hear her jump, and he'd hear Simon put his arm around her. He'd hear them getting along, like they always did. He'd hear everything. He'd hear what they said and what they did and he'd stay quiet about it.

"I wasn't lying, Chloe." Derek whispered, to himself, really. "I really do hate everything that I said." He blinked hard. "I hate everything about you. I hate your big blue eyes, I hate your voice, and your face. I hate everything about you." He paused, then said, "So why do I love you?"

**So sappy. I can't help it, and it was cute. Short, too, but I couldn't think of anyother things he would get mad at her about. Heh. OMG The Reckoning was amazing. Sigh. I'm sorry to say that the other one shot stories that I do will be based BEFORE or WAAAAYYYY after The Reckoning. I know. It's depressing. **


	7. Pain

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me, I've got a plan  
When the lights go off, you will understand

Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing, rather feel pain

I know, I know that you're wounded  
You know, you know that I'm here to save you  
You know, you know I'm always here for you  
I know, I know that you'll thank me later

Pain, without love  
Pain, can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
_  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain_

Derek stared blankly at the tiny body the paramedics were pulling out of the car. He couldn't feel his injuries, though he was sure he had them. Chloe's face was bloody and bruised and bleeding, totally slack, with a slightly imprinted look of pain on it. Simon was getting loaded onto his own ambulance and Dr. Fellows was shouting at the paramedics and Dad was shaking fire off of his shirt and Tori was gagging, her mouth filled with blood. A man was in Derek's face, trying to snap him out of his daze. Instead, he shoved past him to follow Chloe into the ambulance. She was so still...A voice finally broke through.

"You can't come. You're not family. You have to leave."

"Like hell." He growled, glaring at the man talking to him. His face was fuzzy, and Derek wasn't really sure if it was actually a man or if that's just what it seemed like.

"Leave him alone." Derek wasn't sure if his father was talking to him or the paramedic, but the uniformed man sat down. "Just take him to the hospital with her. They're both injured."

Eventually, Derek ended up on a hospital cot next to Chloe's, with people saying something like "blood loss" and "losing consciousness" and "shock". He wasn't listening. Simon's bed was on Chloe's other side, where they were trying to wake him up. Tori was getting stitches in her head, eyes glazed and confused. Someone was shouting something..."she's fibrillating, Dr. Sanchez." Derek didn't know what that meant, his mind refused to understand. Then he watched in horror as the nurse brought a machine to the doctor and he brought out shock pads.

"No!" He snarled, but his father put a hand on his shoulder, watching along with a pained expression. Simon's body jerked sharply, and Dad rushed over, face pale. There were so many doctors in their little curtain area. Derek watched, helpless, as they shocked Chloe, and while they looked at his brother, trying to understand what was wrong with him.

"Sir, it's cardiac arrest." Derek's vision went to tunnel, he couldn't see anything. The room was spinning and glittering. He vaguely realized there were doctors around him, too, speaking in a language that sounded foreign to his ears, which were ringing.

"_He's got about three broken ribs, and a bad concussion. Look at those bruises on his face. He'll need staples in this cut on his head. Is that all his blood?"_

"Yeah, he's been bleeding since he got here."

"How is he still conscious?" Derek watched Chloe's vitals on the little monitors hooked up to her. They were sticking a tube down her throat and putting a mask over Simon's face. Derek felt himself sway, his breathing shallow and quick. And then, he couldn't see any more, and his hearing went, too. His mind decided to let go for awhile.

**Six Months Later**

"Derek!" Dad called, his voice, as was usual now days, sounded flat to Derek's ears. Everything did. He didn't listen to music any more. Any music. He couldn't watch TV with anyone because it didn't make any sense.

"Coming." Derek replied in a flat voice that made his father glance up toward the stares in concern. He shouldn't have been concerned though. It was normal for him to sound like this now. Tori even peered at him in curiosity. But what did they expect? Chloe and Simon were in comas while Derek was up and walking around. They were hurt because of him. It was his fault.

Dr. Fellows still glared at him. So he was used to it. He didn't have the mentality at the moment to even register that she blamed him as he blamed himself. Maybe not as much, but enough for him to know-on some level- that she hated him. That was okay. He hated himself, too. When he had bursts of awareness, that is. It hurt when he was aware, though, so he tried not to be aware.

"Can you cut these for me?" Dad handed him a huge knife and a couple tomatoes. Derek looked from the knife to the fruits, confused for a moment. _Cut...? Why does he want me to cut those?_ He thought, not quite understanding until a few synapses fired off in his brain and he understood. He sliced them, enjoying the ability to slice something to bits.

That's when it happened. The sharp edge of the knife somehow slashed across the palm of Derek's hand. Pain zinged through him, shot through the numbness and the internal pain that he'd been hiding from. He hissed angrily and went to the sink, washing the blood from his hand and wrist where it dripped, letting hot water keep spewing over it even when the stinging worsened. His lips curled up in a sick, sadistic smirk. It hurt, but it felt good at the same time. For a few seconds, and while the pain kept going, it had gone away. By it, he meant everything. He even- God forgive him- forgot that his brother and Chloe were dying. Just for a few seconds.

At her name, he flinched, brought back to before, except now, his numb armor had been pierced, and it was hard to gather it around him again, not without still feeling the emotional pain. He squeezed his palm, kneading the cut. He smiled again when the pain made his eyes tear up. This was better than waiting for them to die.

"Derek? Here, let me wrap that up." Dad said quietly. Derek jerked his hand back, cradling it to his chest protectively.

"No. No, it's fine." He said hoarsely, that being the most emotion they'd heard from him in a while. Dad looked about to faint. "I can take care of it." He turned sharply and went straight to his room, not looking back. He sat on his bed, staring at the red cut that was already healing. So no more pain.

That night, the nightmare returned, like it usually did. Derek woke drenched in sweat, panting. He knew he hadn't made any noise. He never did. Only someone with bionic hearing would've heard his breathing grow labored at this hour. He got out of bed and quickly dressed. It was still night time outside. He was still panting, this time from the thoughts that he shouldn't have been able to have.

He jumped out his window, not bothered by the two story drop. His knees protested, but he just kept running as soon as his feet touched the ground. _You're smart, Derek. So let's think this through._ He was looking for stuff while running. Tree branches whipped at his face, cutting it up, slices that rained blood down his cheeks. He grinned wickedly, wondering if he'd gone insane. But did insane people know they were going insane? Did it matter at this point?

Derek found a gas station, went inside, and pulled out the money he brought with him. He bought a pocket knife, and vodka. He wasn't sure why he needed the vodka, but it seemed right. The salesman didn't say anything about underage whatever, probably because Derek looked older than sixteen. That was fine, really, because he didn't need problems right now.

He ran straight into the woods. Slashed one palm open, just to see if it still worked. His breath hissed through a pain-clenched jaw. He thought that the cracked ribs and punctured lung he got in the accident would've immune-d him to petty cuts, but this worked. It hurt, which was good. He waited for a while, letting it bleed before clenching his fingers in a fist- it intensified the pain and made the bleeding stop. Then he opened the vodka- a very big bottle, he didn't notice before- and started chugging. He laughed when he realized he couldn't even taste it, really.

Kit didn't want to go into Derek's room. The kid was already going through enough, so why wake him up early? Kit found himself standing outside his son's room for about ten minutes before sighing heavily and opening the door. But Derek wasn't there. The window was open. Kit frowned. He didn't think Derek would run away, but he wasn't one for- unless he Changed. Kit's heart squeezed. His son was out there on his own dealing with that?

"K...Kit." Lauren gasped. "Kit! Help us, Kit, hurry up! Oh, my God!" He tore down the stairs, stopping when he saw Derek. He was a mess, small, healing cuts all over his face, leaves and twigs in his hair, dirt smudging him, his eyes were blood shot, and he smelled like Smirnoff vodka. His hands had dried blood cacked on them.

"Derek- what-what happened?" Kit sputtered. Tori came into the room at Lauren's shouting. She gaped at Derek.

"Nothing." Derek said flatly, in a voice devoid of all emotion. Kit relaxed. That, at least, was the same as it had been since the car crash.

"It doesn't look like nothing."

"Well it is." He snapped, still some how managing not to show much emotion. Kit wondered if, with Simon and Chloe, his mind was in a coma.

"Okay, okay. I was just asking. Were you...were you drinking?" Kit managed, not quite sure if he was smelling the alcohol or just something else.

"No." Derek said, heading for the stairs.

He couldn't remember falling asleep, but he eventually did, waking up when the sun glared into his face. This was the easy solution. It was working. A small, thin smile pulled at his lips.

For two and a half weeks, Derek sliced his palms, his arms, sometimes his gut if he wanted the pain very sharp. He drank some, too, but that only numbed him more, and he wanted to feel something, but not what his mind was stuck on. He did not visit Chloe or Simon in those two and a half weeks. He forgot about anyone else in the world except himself. And if his father didn't say anything, he didn't eat, because nothing gave him the satisfaction of his own blood dripping from thin, deep cuts all over his person.

And then. The girl walked into the room. She looked odd, a stranger. Derek just stared at her, uncomprehending as blood drizzled down his wrist and stained his t-shirt. He lifted a lip, baring his teeth to tell her to go away. He didn't want an intrusion into his private world.

"You're so stupid, Derek." She sighed, her voice disappointed. He glared at her.

"Go away." He growled, not unclenching his jaw.

"No. Did you think this is the way to make any one happy?" she asked, face twisting.

"It's making _me_ happy." Though he didn't really know the meaning of the word anymore, considering his satisfaction came from alcohol, a knife, and his own spewed blood.

"No, it's not. It's not helping anything, either. You stopped visiting the hospital." Her voice cracked. Derek tried, really hard, to pull up a name, but he kept getting distracted by the blood soaking his shirt, the smell of it, the taste of it in the air.

"Yes it is." He whispered.

"Why are you doing this?" He paused. Why was he doing this?

"Because it makes it go away."

"Makes what go away?" He ignored her, swallowing what was left of his liquor. She repeated her question.

"It makes everything go away. All of it." He whispered very quietly. She sat beside him slowly, not very close, like maybe she didn't know him like he didn't know her.

"You can't do that, though. One, you're hurting yourself. Two, it's not helping. Three...we need you." She grimaced. "We need you to wake up." Derek stood sharply.

"No! I can't! I won't! I don't..." his voice cracked and a weird noise came from his chest. It took the alien wetness on his face to summon a word for what was going on: crying. "I don't want to feel it anymore, Tori!" With the name came pain and memories and awful, awful guilt. "I don't want to remember that it was me driving! I don't want to think of how they looked in that hospital room! I can't stand it! I can't- I don't want- I don't want these memories- these feelings- this..." he was panting, sobbing. "I can't help her, I can't help my brother..."

"Derek." Tori sighed, shaking her head, though she looked alarmed. "You need to come to the hospital." He backpedaled quickly.

"No! I can't do it!" He gasped, panting and shivering.

"Derek, you have to. They...you have to." She said. The look on her face confused him. He didn't understand. He frowned. His gut seized.

"Oh, God." He whimpered. "I...I can't..."

"You HAVE to, Derek. Grow a spine, and get a move on. They need you. You have to." _Chloe. Chloe. Simon, Chloe, Simon, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Simon, what did I do?_ He thought, looking at his newly acquired scars and cuts. He gagged a little, surprised. It had been so long since he'd seen anything but blood.

The hospital smelled stale and gross. But Derek followed his father, Chloe's aunt- her name?- and Tori through the doors, past the waiting room, and into Simon and Chloe's shared room. They both looked very pale and still. But Derek heard them breathing. He frowned at Tori. She said...or were they going to pull the plug? His heart sped up and he looked at his father in panic. He shook his head.

"They woke up earlier." Dad whispered. "That's why we brought you. We thought maybe it'd help."

"W-w-what?" he gasped, uncomprehending.

"They woke up a while ago. They're going to live. They're fine." Dr...Fellows, Chloe's aunt, said. She gave Derek's arm a squeeze. He bolted to the middle of the room, between the two beds. Chloe was so...tiny. Still. And then. Blue eyes fluttered open. A smile curled those lips for just a moment, before a frown drew them down.

"You stupid fur ball! What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouted- hoarsely.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"I'm a NECROMANCER, I was WATCHING you. How COULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF? TO ME?" Derek flinched, harshly.

"I- I was- I missed- I couldn't-"

"You couldn't handle it? So you decided to hurt yourself? I saw how hurt you were when we first got here, idiot!" She snapped, panting laboriously.

"Chloe, you should relax. Yell at me when you're totally-"

"Don't you try to hover and-and protect me when you can't seem to take care of yourself!" He flinched again, pain igniting in his chest. "I can't- How could you do that to me, Derek?" She finally whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"Chloe- please-please don't cry." He whispered, kneeling by her bed; he was shaking again, though whether from lack of food in a few days or from worry for her, he wasn't sure. "Please don't cry. I'm so sorry. I know what I did was stupid and wrong, but I wasn't strong enough to deal with what I did to you guys. It was like...a self-inflicted psychotic break, I guess."

"What YOU did to us? What YOU DID?" Chloe shrilled, her breathing raspy.

"Please calm down, Chloe." Derek fretted, panicky.

"Derek." She looked at him, suddenly calm. "What do you remember from the crash?"

"I was driving down the highway, and someone said something, so I looked over. The truck hit the passenger side of the van, near the back- hitting you and Simon the most." Chloe was shaking her head before he even finished.

"Do you remember your three months in the hospital?"

"What three months?" he asked, confused. Kit and Lauren gasped. He glanced at them. "I wasn't in the hospital for three months."

"Yes, you were." Dad said, walking over to Chloe's other side in alarm. "Derek, you were as badly injured as the rest of them. And you weren't driving."

"Yes, I was. You were..." he frowned, furrowing his brow to focus. "I was driving... and I wasn't in here for three months."

"Derek..." Dr. Fellows said quietly, shifting closer. "I was driving. Chloe was sitting in your lap. The only reason she lived was because you twisted, so you got the brunt of the impact. The reason she was so hurt was the shattering glass and her head getting hit. You had a bad concussion and a punctured lung and your whole right side was pretty much broken." She said very softly. Derek's head spun. "And after you healed, you were put in the psych ward, because you wouldn't eat or talk."

"No. I wasn't here for that long."

"Derek. Lauren was driving. You were snugglin' with Chloe, and when you saw that truck coming, you tried to protect her with your body. You were nearly crushed. After three months, you came home, and then you cut your hand while cutting those stupid tomatoes and then you started doing all that stupid shit." Tori snapped. She was very pale. "Stop shaking your thick head, wolf boy, you were gone. Totally gone. No one could make you come out of that."

"Derek." Chloe whispered. "You were too busy trying to shoulder the blame that you didn't even realize it's not your fault." She shook her head.

"I second that." A new voice croaked. "You big idiot."

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**So that's that. It was pretty long, I think. I liked it. I don't know why, but lately, I've been wanting all my characters to feel as crazy as I feel. I don't know. Anyway. Criminal Minds, is a great show. Just throwin' that out there. XD Anyway. Thanks. R&R. This is the last chapter of Derek's one shots and the next one is Chloe's. They're still about DerekXChloe, though. BTW= Chloe's will either start out with a sad one and get better or the sad one will be ch. 2 or something. Thanks! **


	8. I Caught Fire

**A/N: This is the last chapter to Animal I Have Become. Any suggestions for the title of Chloe's song fics? Plus- sad story first, or third? And don't worry, this one is pretty happy, considering how sad or angry the rest of them have been. The song title is I Caught Fire by The Used (Obviously, I don't own the song or the characters, just the story idea)**

__

Seemed to stop my breath  
My head on your chest  
Waiting to cave in  
From the bottom of my...  
Hear your voice again  
Could we dim the sun  
And wonder where we've been  
Maybe you and me  
So kiss me like you did  
My heart stopped beating  
Such a softer sin

(I'm melting, I'm melting)  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while

And I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
Now

Never caught my breath  
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess  
Ever know each other  
Trust these words are stones  
why cuts aren't healing  
Learning how to love

I'm melting (I'm melting)  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
And I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
(Stay with me lay with me now)

You could stay and watch me fall  
And of course I'll ask for help  
Just stay with me now  
_Take my hand  
We could take our heads off  
stay in bed just make love that's all  
Just stay with me now_

I'm melting (I'm melting)  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
and I'm melting

In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me  
Lay with me  
In your eyes  
I lost my place  
Could stay a while  
and I'm melting  
In your eyes  
Like my first time  
That I caught fire  
Just stay with me lay with me  
(Stay with me, lay with me)

In your eyes  
Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)  
Let's sleep till the sun burns out  
I'm melting in your eyes

Derek woke drowsily, confused as to where he was for a moment- then he smelled Chloe nearby. He looked around and realized they'd fallen asleep at the park- he was snuggled next to her, his head on her shoulder. She was sound asleep, smiling a little, her arms still wrapped around him tightly. His breath caught...

She'd been talking, then her voice had started to dip, falling asleep, and that made him fall asleep. He sat up a little against the tree they were at the base of, leaning his back against it. Chloe made a little sound of protest, then turned, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his smiled.

He wanted to be able to tell her how he felt, but he wasn't a word type of guy. He didn't have poetry or pretty words on paper to tell her how he felt. It was difficult to admit to himself what he was feeling, but telling Chloe? It was terrifying, mostly because she deserved more than a gruff proclamation of love-_love? _Derek flushed deep red and glanced down at her, but she was still asleep. He relaxed.

Okay. So there was that. And how was he supposed to tell her and let her know he _meant it?_ That when he realized what he was feeling, it was scary and that the only way he knew how to respond was to get angry, because that seemed better than the alternative- getting shot down with a scornful look.

He realized he was stroking her hair, and that was probably what woke her up. She sat up, stretching, and smiled. She tilted her head when he didn't return it, frowning. He took a deep breath and looked around. The park was empty and the sun was still up- Chloe even looked like she had a little sunburn on her cheek from the prolonged exposure.

"Hey." He said, still unsure of what to say. She smiled again.

"Hey. When did we fall asleep? What time is it?" Assuming the first question was more of a statement, Derek answered only the second.

"About four thirty." He frowned, resisting the urge to bite his lip, because Chloe noticed things like that. She always did.

"What's the matter?" She was peering up at his face, head tilted just a little. "You're flushed. Oh. Did you get sunburned? It's just a little bit. Or do you not feel good? You just Changed last night, I thought it was a once-a-week thing..." She babbled, still peering straight at him. His cheeks heated more when she pointed out the blush.

"No, I'm fine." He said, still embarrassed. She started to ask a question, then stopped.

"Derek, if something's wrong, you can tell me, you know that right? I mean, you know I love you, so it's not like you have to hide things from me." She said it so simply. Derek's chest seized, his breath shortening. _How can she say it so simply?_ he thought in panic. _Because, silly, she doesn't have trust issues, like you._ The voice sounded suspiciously like Chloe's, but he didn't know for sure. _I trust Chloe! I do!_ he thought frantically, with panic only someone in denial or fear could have.

"Chloe..." he mumbled, steeling himself against any fear he had. He squared his shoulders. "You know what? When I first saw you after escaping the Edison Group lab the first time, I swear, I was on fire." He said slowly. so she understood**; **she just nodded, starting to didn't understand what he meant. "As in, furious." He corrected, seeing where her thoughts might've gone if he didn't correct her. She frowned, bottom lip jutting a little. "Mostly because, I, uh, didn't understand why I was feeling what I was feeling for you, especially worry, so I just did what came naturally and snapped at you."

"Derek..." she said quietly, not wanting to be reminded of their Edison Group days. But he had to get this out, so she would understand.

"Plus, I could see how much Simon liked you, so I was trying to be a good brother and keep you at arms length, which was not fun. I mean, I hated it... Plus, every time you got hurt, or close to getting hurt, I was so _scared_ for you that it scared me. I didn't like it." He said with a sharp head shake. Chloe was starting to look a little torn- between hurt, confusion, and flattery. "Then we got stuck together, every- single- time- we got separated from the group. It was like punishment for something!" He shook his head and smiled, then grinned. "You put me in my place so many times." Her chin jerked up.

"Good! Nobody else did." She smiled hesitantly, unsure where this was going.

"You were also the only person who could make me feel stupid."

"What? What does that mean?"

"Not only did you notice things that I missed, but you also made it hard for me to be mean to you, to push you away, when you were so nice to me all the time. You didn't treat me like other people treated me- like they were afraid I'd just start beating them for no reason. Or, at least, you did whenever I didn't make you angry. When you were mad at me, it hurt. Plus, whenever you _looked_ at me the way you did, sometimes, I couldn't talk, or talk right. Which made me feel stupid. And I rarely feel stupid, Chloe. Ever." He gave her a look, to let her know he wasn't finished, but that she should know that was monumental. He was babbling, he knew, and he knew these weren't necessarily the words he wanted to tell her, but maybe it was better.

"Okay." She whispered, still looking at him confusedly.

"And then, after awhile, the stupid, tongue tied feeling I got or the fiery anger I felt around you turned to me wanting to tell you everything, to talk to you**;** and then I wasn't on fire, I was melting when you would do something so sweet or innocent or brilliant without even noticing yourself doing it." He took a breath without looking at her. "And I just wanted to tell you that, because, you know, I love you, too. And I just- I don't have the words to spell it out for you, romantically, like other guys might be able to..." _And there are the tears..._ Her eyes had filled, but a smile lifted her lips, which confused the hell out of him, which he was sure was how all guys felt when girls cried and smiled...

"Derek...that's sweet." She said finally, and before he could say anything, she pounced at him, kissing his cheeks and face and then his lips. He found himself pressed to the tree, Chloe smiling against his lips. "You're so sweet and you don't even know it."

"What are you talking about?" he mumbled, though he wasn't really paying attention- she was distracting him very thoroughly.

"You always think you don't know how to make me happy or how to say the right thing, but you don't realize how adorable you are when you're all protective or awkward, or really _thinking_, trying to say just the right thing without realizing that you already have." She breathed, eyes glittering. Derek smiled hesitantly.

"I, ah, did say the right thing, then?"

"Yes, stupid boy." She rolled her eyes. He took a breath.

"Good. That's good." He pulled her closer, breathing in her scent. "You're seventeen and a half, right?" She huffed.

"More than a half! I turn eighteen next week, Derek!" She snapped, but the flash of temper didn't douse her happiness. Derek stood up, pulling Chloe with him.

"Okay." He rubbed a hand over his jaw. "Alright. Hey, I have to go. I'll see you." Her eyes widened.

"What? Where are you going?"

"You're right. I'll walk you home, but I have to go. Really." She blinked, hurt flashing across her face. "It's okay, and I know you don't understand, but I have to." He was still sort of massaging his jaw, as if imagining getting hit there. Chloe probably wasn't far from hitting him.

"Fine. I can walk myself home, _thank-you-very-much._" She yanked her hand away and stalked off. Derek followed her at a distance, just to be sure.

**One week Later**

Derek wasn't SURE if he was _invited _to Chloe's birthday celebration- he hadn't seen her since that day in the park a week ago. He just...had to do something. He was feeling ridiculously reckless, since she hadn't laughed when he told her _that_ so why not this? He walked across the street to her, Lauren, and Tori's house, with his brother and dad. They were both smiling, because they'd been invited. Dad gave Derek a look, though.

"Go ahead, Simon. We'll be there in a minute." Dad waved him on. Simon nodded, jogging ahead. Derek slowed down, keeping instep with his father. He was smiling just slightly, which he'd been doing all week. Dad seemed to think it was weird. "I don't know what is going on, but Lauren said that Chloe's been very upset all week." He narrowed his eyes. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

"Probably." Derek said, the smile still not leaving his face completely. "But I had to. So now I'm fixing it. Don't worry."

"I won't...buy Lauren will, you know that." Dad shook his head and started toward the door again.

Derek went through the motions of Chloe's birthday without really focusing. He was too excited to really participate much. Plus, Chloe was giving him the studious silent treatment. It stung a little, but he accepted it, because he deserved it. He'd just been so intrigued by the idea that struck him that he couldn't pass it up. Or let himself chicken out.

Finally Derek cornered Chloe in the backyard, after everyone had gone inside. She stared at him, then sighed heavily, wiping at her eye and mumbling something about pollen. Derek's heart thumped and he felt an even more painful sting at the tears in her eyes that she was hiding. He grimaced.

"Chloe, I didn't mean to just walk away at that moment, exactly, but I'd had an idea, and I really wanted to see it through before I got nervous." She nodded, but didn't seem ready to forgive him. "I had to go shopping." He explained. Now she looked shocked.

"Shopping? You- you walked a-away from me to go _shopping?_" Now she really did look hurt. "I'm not worth more than new clothes or some snacks or something?" Her lip trembled.

"You," he said seriously and in a slight bout of temper, "are worth more than anything." Her cheeks flushed a little, and the trembling stopped.

"Then why...?"

"Like I said...I had to go shopping. I _had_ to, Chloe." He pressed, then held his arms out hesitantly. She moved into them, snuggling against him, sighing.

"Alright. Whatever, it must've been important." He flinched infinitesimally. Okay, he deserved that. He took her hand, and she laced her fingers through his automatically. She stiffened, then, after a moment of him playing with her fingers. "Derek, what's- is that- what is that?" She pulled back, but Derek kept her in his arms.

"Marry me?" he asked very quietly. Then he let her go so she could look at the ring. The band was silver, two small emeralds on the left and right of a diamond, two small sapphires on top and bottom. She stared at it for a moment, swallowing and breathing irregularly. Derek's heart was pounding. _She's going to say no..._he thought. He'd paid with every bit of money he'd saved up, with some money he'd borrowed from Simon.

"Of course." She said with a small laugh. "Of course, I will." She breathed. She laughed again. "That's why you were asking how old I was- so that Lauren couldn't tell me what I can or can't do." Her face was radiant, the smile on her lips lighting up her eyes. Derek's face felt like it was glowing, too, he was so happy.

"Thank you."

"Oh, you silly boy." She shook her head. "I love you, of course I'd marry you."

"I love you, too." He replied. And took her tightly into his arms, kissing her until they heard laughter from the house.

"I knew it." Tori huffed, but she was smiling.

**So how was it? Sappy? Crappy? Tell me in a review, please. This is the DEFINITE last chapter of Derek's- the last one I wrote that in was an accident, I thought I was on chapter eight (eight's my favorite number). So, um, yeah. Please review. And comments about what Chloe's title should be would be great. **


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